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Today I sat with my Swazi friend, who just lost her sister to AIDS. Her sister was only 42, and she is leaving behind 6 daughters, a son, and several grandchildren who don’t have a father in the picture. It is tragic, and colors in a little more of the bleak picture that we are faced with in Swaziland.

But, as sad of a day as it was, in a way it was one of the most significant and heart-warming days I’ve experienced since I got here. So many times in life, we don’t really know if our lives are making a difference, if we are really living for what we were created for. This was one of those rare days when I felt like I got it right – that I was precisely where I was supposed to be doing precisely what I was intended to be doing. And I wasn’t doing much. I just took food for the family; Marius and I gave a little money towards the funeral expenses, and I simply sat on a little bench with my friend for a while.

The grandfathers sat on a little woven mat under the tree. The grandmothers sat on a different mat under another tree. My friend’s late sister’s children were in their thatched hut, crying and mourning the loss of their mother. There was an open fire with a big black pot of stew cooking. We were surrounded by their beautiful land – corn growing all around the homestead, mountains off in the distance, and over us a big blue canopy  of sky.

After my grandfather died several years ago I was surprised by some of the goofy things people say to you in your time of loss, and I never wanted to be like that to others. Today I simply took food, told their family I was sorry for their loss, and sat with my friend in her time of need.  Sometimes, maybe that is the best that we can do.

jodi

10 responses to “Today I Sat With My Friend”

  1. Jodi and Marius,

    We love you both so much. We are so thankful to hear from you and to know how God is using both of you. Yes, people do say strange things sometimes when a loved one is lost, but the best thing is to say you are sorry and to just be there. May God richly bless you two and Emi!

  2. Hey Deetlefs Family!

    What an amazing story Jodi. Sometimes I feel that in our greatest time of need, the most comforting thing that people can say is nothing at all. Just the assurance of someone being there for someone else is enough for most people. The fact that you were just there for your friend probably meant the world to her.

    Thanks for all that you guys do! We love you and miss you!

    Love,

    Chris, Becky, Sandee, and (soon to enter the world) Noah!

  3. You are a blessing and sitting with your friend is just the beginning as the shock wears off and the real needs set in. We know you will be sitting with your friend for a long time – and her children – and her grandchildren, too. You are a blessing because the Lord is with you and will spotlight each stone on the path to step on. Praise the Lord – how you love Him!!! Blessings galore! Love, Laura K

  4. Jodi,
    I have been there! There is nothing to say, just a hug and your presence is ALL that is needed. We don’t know “what” to say except I’m sorry… that’s enough.The most important thing is to “be there”.
    Tricia

  5. Jodi,
    Your wise beyond your years. The Lord has blessed you in so many ways. Ways that only strengthen your already Christ like attituded.
    God Bless,
    John, Cindy & Alex Lupi

  6. Joni,
    What a special note about a tough situation. I read a study today about planting seeds, and how if you do not like what you are reaping, change what you are planting. You planted some very good seeds that day. Often those seeds are mercy and understanding, where you live the gospel message instead of delivering it. You may never know where or when that seed will bear fruit but by His Grace, we know it will someday. Keep praising Him for how He is using you two, and give that sweet Emi a hug for us!
    DAve and Susan Slade

  7. Jodi,

    You certainly were ‘Jesus with skin on.’
    That’s just what He is – our Great Comforter.
    We love you!